Online Dating: Sending the first message & message etiquette
19th June 2010
When you have finally made yourself comfortable enough with
your online dating profile, it is time now to browse through some profiles of
others. You may find someone you like but don’t know how to establish that
first time communication. When you are ready to send that first message there
are a few rules and guidelines you should follow through with first. Follow
these steps when you send out your first messages for better replies and to
make yourself come across confident.
Read their profile first before sending the message
Knowing what the other person is interested in and looking
for before you establish that first message could save you wasted time. It can
also give you something to talk about in the opening email. Start off with your
name and what prompted you to send the message. For example, “Hi my name is
Sarah and your profile caught my eye because I noticed we both enjoyed mountain
hiking”. This will help let the other person know one or two of your interest
before they read your profile.
Keep everything positive
No one likes a “Debbie downer” so keep the e-mails positive.
Don’t include things like “ I just can’t seem to find someone to love me”, or
“I’m so lonely”. Statements like these will make you come across desperate and
could drive a perfectly good match away. Keep your thoughts and conversation
positive and happy just as you would want your relationship to be.
Keep in simple but not too short
The first email does not need to be a novel, but needs to
contain some information. “Hi my name is Sarah and I hope to hear from you” is
way too short to send in your first email. Introduce yourself, state why you
liked their profile and include a little about yourself as well. Do not include
your whole life story as you need something to talk about in coming emails and
maybe even dates.
Don’t be too pushy
If you don’t get a response right away don’t send another
message asking why they did not respond. Be patient for a response and if one does
not come, just let it slide. Not everyone will reply so you should prepare
yourself for some denial. If a response does come, take your time developing a
relationship. It isn’t recommended to meet up with someone after only one or
two messages. Try and get to know the person a little first and then move onto
a face to face meeting.
Remember to enjoy yourself
Online dating should be fun, so have a good time making new
friends and developing relationships. You never know how long you will be using
these dating sites so you might as well enjoy yourself while you can. Flirt and
be open and most importantly, always be honest. If you want to find a good and
healthy relationship, honesty is always the best way to start it off.
